Stories by Patrick O'Grady

• Posted: Fri, Dec 22nd
  Friday's Foaming Rant: The 2006 O'Grady Awards
  These days, the alleged humorist Patrick O’Grady is generally confined to soiling the virtual sandbox here at VeloNews.com, where subscriptions are not at risk. His "contribution" to VeloNews the magazine normally consists of an editorial cartoon so severely downsized over the ...
• Posted: Fri, Dec 1st
  Friday's Foaming Rant: Spinal rap
  So I had to go see a chiropractor in New York, and they're different to osteopaths, chiropractors, because of the spelling. And they crack your bones, that's what they do, they crack your bones! And they take X-rays, but it’s pointless, because whatever is wrong with ...
• Posted: Mon, Nov 6th
  Notes of a Dirty Old Man: Regarding reach and grasp
  The world is divided into people who do things and people who get the credit. Try, if you can, to belong to the first class. There’s far less competition.— Dwight Morrow, 1873-1931, in a letter to his son I caught a glimpse of the Vomit Comet on Sunday while driving out of ...
• Posted: Sun, Nov 5th
  Notes of a Dirty Old Man: O'Grady, Xilinx and 'cross
  We can't all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and applaud when they go by.— Will Rogers You know you’re not in Colorado Springs any more when you see an Adopt-a-Highway sign reading, "NORML for Boulder." We don’t want to know what’s normal for ...
• Posted: Fri, Nov 3rd
  Friday's Foaming Rant: A dirty girl
  It’s still the same old story,A fight for love and glory,A case of do or die!The world will always welcome loversAs time goes by. — "As Time Goes By," Herman Hupfeld This isn’t much of a rant; it’s more of a rave. I love cyclo-cross. When I stumbled into this sport ...
• Posted: Tue, Oct 31st
  Tuesday's Trick-or-Treat Rant: Saiz it ain't so
  "If someone calls me up and says their toaster is talking to them, I don’t refer them to professional help, I say, ‘Put the toaster on the phone.’"—Sal Ivon, former manager of the Weekly World News Okay, let me see if I’ve got this straight: Manolo Saiz is said to ...
• Posted: Fri, Oct 27th
  Friday's Foaming Rant: Oh, Colorado's calling me
  Oh, Colorado's calling meFrom her hillsides and her riversAnd her mesas and her trees.When blizzards snap the power linesAnd all the toilets freezeIn December in the Colorado Rockies.— "Colorado," by Christopher Guest, Sean Kelly and Tony Hendra, from "Lemmings" Nothing ...
• Posted: Fri, Oct 20th
  Friday's Foaming Rant: A modest proposal
  The prestige of government has undoubtedly been lowered considerably by the Prohibition law. For nothing is more destructive of respect for the government and the law of the land than passing laws which cannot be enforced. It is an open secret that the dangerous increase of ...
• Posted: Fri, Sep 29th
  Industrial Wastrel: All things come to he who Waits
  Wasted and wounded, it ain't what the moon didI've got what I paid for now. . . ."Tom Traubert's Blues" by Tom Waits LAS VEGAS, Nev. — It’s easy to go cyborg at Interbike. After a long day of stalking the show floor, translating MarketSpeak® into English, and ...
• Posted: Tue, Sep 26th
  Industrial Wastrel: O'Grady on Interbike
  Editor at large Patrick O'Grady is roaming the halls of Interbike again this year and threatens to send occasional updates whenever he finds a tavern with wireless Internet access. Here's the first installment. — Editor LAS VEGAS, Nevada — It beats me how they ...
• Posted: Mon, Aug 7th
  Monday's Bonus Rant: Beer and whine
  A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.— W.C. Fields I have an announcement to make. A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a Foaming Rant lauding Floyd Landis for beer-drinking his way to a Tour de France-winning comeback. I have subsequently tested positive for wine. ...
• Posted: Fri, Jul 21st
  Friday's Foaming Rant: Beer me, Floyd
  “Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: It's how drunk you get.”—Homer Simpson None of my colleagues in the cycling press thought to ask Floyd Landis the two questions I wanted answered after Stage 17: What kind of beer ...